oh god the rape fog is back!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
