Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
