And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
