Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My pussy is not your playground.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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