Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
