Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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