Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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