I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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