the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
