i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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