I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
