Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
