Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
