I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize