I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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