They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
