just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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