and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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