Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
