I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
