I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
