Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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