btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
