ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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