He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
