i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
