I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
