seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
