Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
