i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize