whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
