You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think people are normalizing furries
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