i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
