This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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