pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
