New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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