South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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