I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
