Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
