life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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