the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
