This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
