chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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