when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
