Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize