Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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