I feel great
I just peed on a car
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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