im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
