he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
