He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize