Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
