this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just pee around me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
