pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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