is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
