is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
