How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
