and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
