I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
cat food counts as protein by the way
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
