Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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