i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
