Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize