so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
