you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
