Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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