He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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