Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
